Archive for the ‘Sadist’s Delight’ Category

It is certainly unnecessary to explain who Miss Rosa is for Divine Sadism. I have been lucky enough to meet Her the same day I met Mistress Natalia a few weeks before She decided to create Divine Sadism. I have had therefore the privilege to witness the birth of Divine Sadism and its incredible expansion during the following 6 months. And there is no words to say how much I keep being amazed by how Miss Rosa not only manages the sim She has created, but by Her vision of Female Domination that She has successfully  given shape to at Divine Sadism.

As my co-owner, Miss Rosa’s guidance in my development as a slave has been always very strict, but also very comforting when She has always generously acknowledged my progresses after pointing out my mistakes. Her  “Maieutic”  way to teach showed itself extremely efficiently when I was able to keep up. Needless to say, I have been extremely lucky to have received the attention that She has given me as a Mistress, but also as a person who I admire equally. Also, I was most excited when she agreed to do this interview, which I am certain you can’t wait to read.

Please enjoy!

RH Interview 4

frenchy: Greetings Miss Rosa and thank you so much for accepting and finding the time in your busy schedule to realize this interview that many of us, the Divine and the scum have been waiting so much.

Miss Rosa: So frenchy, you finally cornered me for this interview.  I actually love to talk, in real life it is one of the ways I make a living.   As Divine Sadism is about to celebrate a six month milestone, I feel I can take a breath, stand back, and reflect on what I have created – created with the help of  some of the most amazing women I know, along with the courageous males who comprise our scum herd.

frenchy: Are you comfortable to share some general (non private) information about your person in RL?

Miss Rosa: I have always been a “alpha” female – by that I mean I walk into a room and when I have something to say, people stop and listen.  From kindergarten on my intense energy was both a blessing and a curse. Too often I have to “turn down” that intensity to deal with the many variances of work and relationships in RL.  I have very “big” energy that is works beautifully within the context of BDSM activities, specifically as a Dominatrix and an sadist.

After growing up in Los Angeles I have lived in rural communities in Washington, California, and Oregon.  In real life I am currently intensely focused on my career.  I am a widow, having lost my husband to cancer.   I also lost my beloved partner after he helped me through an extremely challenging graduate program.  Animals are an essential part of my life;  I have a horse, a dog, a cat.  I am an artist, a reader, a kayaker, and I love hiking.  I was an avid backpacker until a serious knee injury two years ago.

At this time of my life, as for so many, Second Life provides a venue to express and experience an essential part of who and what I am.

frenchy:  What is your country of origin and the culture that you belong to?

Miss Rosa:  While I live in the United States I want to stress that there are many cultural “rivers” in this county.  Politically I am a radical liberal  and will not comment further.  I grew up poor, my family a blended culture of settler farming and immigrant working class families.  In general women were viewed as having less worth than males.  Girls were not encouraged to express themselves.  As IF I could be so stifled.  Education was my salvation.  Today I am equally comfortable cutting Madrone firewood, butchering a goat, talking down a 250 pound biker in a bar, trimming my horse’s hoofs, serving on a non-profit Board of Directors, and commanding a slave to give himself 50 lashes to serve me.

frenchy: You seem to be a very organized person who plans in advance, is that right or do you prefer to improvise?

Miss Rosa: HA!  I am not at all organized.  I am careful to develop and maintain RL routines that help me compensate.  In my thinking I am highly organized, which is reflected in my work, and in my development of Divine Sadism.  While a certain Bestie of mine has used the phrase “control freak” on more than one occasion, I do not experience a “need to control” in RL.  This needs to be distinguished from a LOVE of Control – of using my Will to shape a slave’s mind, emotions, and life within D/s.  Of course I love Control in that way . . . . “I hate being in control” said  NO Dominatrix EVER.

What I am is an information manager and a “big picture” person.  I use information and communication to change minds, hearts, and lives in RL.  Information and  feedback systems, are essential to the creation and maintenance of Divine Sadism.

RH Interview 7_001

frenchy: How does SL impact your RL and your RL influence your SL?

Miss Rosa: I have a very intense job working closely with people.  While I am wired “alpha”  I am also an introvert.   ( To learn about introverts visit this link at the  Huffington Post ) At the end of the day my “dealing with people” energy tank is totally drained.  I am also still somewhat bereaved from too many deaths in too short of a time.  When I am done with work the last thing I want is any social scene or obligations.  Where I live there is no local kink scene that is . . . hmmmm, remotely safe or appealing.  SL provides just the right balance of interaction AND it offers a safe way for me to express a huge part of myself.

frenchy: How would you present yourself as a Mistress to someone you meet for the first time or in other words, what is your style of domination?

Miss Rosa: My “style” changes with every slave I use, yet there are some things I most enjoy in approaching D/s.   I closely assess my property, gathering “data”, developing long term goals and plans.  While my slave gives me the gift of power over him, within the TPE  I wield that power to deepen their growth and skill as a slave.  My choice of strategies is partially defined by my experience, judgment, acquired knowledge of human nature, and what I identify as the specific skills I want my slave to develop.  One thing remains constant, the slave exists for one reason – to serve.  To serve they must obey.  Period.

As an Owner, I strive to be transparent, ethical, and willing to speak honestly of mutual experience.  I will not tolerate any attempt at manipulation or guilt.  I despise “topping from the bottom”.  As a sadist I am inventive at long distance, real life methods of inflicting pain.  I use a variety of virtual “leashes” that enable me to extend my control into real life.  Before I claim a slave, I thoroughly screen, interview, and require a rigorous probation.

My property serves a purpose, has a function.  I adore my four wheel drive, F150 Truck.  Any expression of appreciation I share with scum is very similar. I rarely have actual “pixel” sex with my property, in part because I do not want them to develop any notion that they are my “lover”.  Also because honestly, pixel sex is utterly vanilla and boring for me.  I do enjoy using voice, love the Power simple voice adds to the D/s connection – how it can facilitate the controlled arousal of a male animal and provide rewards when I allow them to share in my own arousal and orgasm.  The most valued service of all is when I can hear my slave suffering for me.

RH Interview 2

frenchy: What attracts you the most in a submissive man? In other words, which are the qualities that you find the most attractive in a slave?

Miss Rosa: First, why do you limit potential submissives to male?  While we work primarily with males in DS, I enjoy both males and females.

I have little interest in working with anyone who does not understand the difference between submission and consensual, non-consensual slavery, someone who longs to be a slave.  To attract my notice, one must be keenly intelligent, articulate, and witty.  They need to understand I am a sadist who will be aroused by their suffering.  I enjoy mature males, who are clear about their essential nature.  There must be a sense of “affinity”, the intangible ingredient that allows for a deep connection.  Willingness to serve in real life via long distance domination is absolutely essential.

Little makes me angrier than hearing our slaves disparaged by soft submissives who have not the slightest idea of the courage it takes to serve as a slave at Divine Sadism.  Most of our “scum” are highly successful men who are respected professionals.  To serve the intensely sadistic Divine requires great strength, endurance,  and a clear sense of oneself.

frenchy: What could turn you off in a prospective slave?

Miss Rosa: Whining, entitlement, stupidity, & lack of focus.

frenchy: What excites you the most, to inflict pain or the feeling to be in total control?

Miss Rosa: Seriously frenchy?  SERIOUSLY?!?  What good is one without the other.  I am aroused by pain – sexually and intellectually.  I am deeply satisfied, sometimes aroused, and always fully engaged and fascinated by what is created between people through a Total Power Exchange – both during the immediacy of a session and through long term Ownership. I enjoy control even if no pain is involved . . . it is a creative process for me, like painting.  Add pain and things start to get hot, energy begins to flow, I feel deeply connected to the male I am using, feel a very immediate, almost spiritual connection.  The infliction of intentional pain is an erotic sacrament.  Add the degree of Control we wield within Divine Sadism, willing and directing a male to use their hands and teeth to hurt their own flesh in service and worship . . . THAT creates a linkage so intense for me that I become deeply aroused.

frenchy: How important is role playing versus RL submission for you? Do you think role playing outside his comfort zone requires much sacrifice from a slave?

Miss Rosa: Role-playing? *yawns* I have little interest in just role-playing.  Combine the visual imagery possible in SL with chat or voice, add real life, and NOW you are starting to get my attention.  It is deeply erotic for me to see a picture of a slave whose flesh is marked with bruises given by their own hand – a hand that moved in service to my Will.  What arouses me is the sound of a slave grunting in pain as they hurt their own body to please me.  BDSM – for me the preferred letters in the acronym are DS – Domination & Sadism.  Yes, it is intentional that DS also is used to represent Divine Sadism.

RH Inteview 6

frenchy: What do you think about limits in BDSM? Are they necessary, useful or shouldn’t they exist in a meaningful D/s relationship between consenting adults who trust each other?

Miss Rosa: What I “think” about limits in BDSM is reflected by limits in Divine Sadism.  I have no interest in working with “subs”.  Those allowed to serve me become my slaves.  This means they are property without rights.  Yes, I mean exactly what I said.  There is one critical and essential “choice”.  That is the choice to become my slave, thereby entering into a consensual non-consensual D/s experience.  With the pixelated world of Second Life and Divine Sadism this is absolute.  Divine Sadism slaves give their consent by remaining in DS.  There ARE no limits!

When we consider limits and real life, the parameters shift.  I do not require service that endangers real life family, profession, or the community standing of my property.

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frenchy: Is this a good time to tell us a little about your decision to create Divine Sadism?

Miss Rosa: I am delighted to talk about Divine Sadism frenchy.  When I first came to SL I adored the dark side of folklore and the living archetypes within BDSM.   The archetype of the “Dark Mother” is one I find deeply appealing.   As a child my chosen “role models” were the Russian witch Baba Yaga, Maleficent, and Circe. I rooted for the witch in Hansel and Gretel. My personal “F-list” is long, dark, and very perverse.  Embodying the “Dark Mother” in SL was the perfect “form” for my love of dominance and sadism.  It led to developing Rosa’s Tower, which was my private home and dungeon.

While I enjoyed meeting other Dommes, I never felt engaged by the many SL Femdom sims, with the exception of Sadism Island.  Nicole Kessel and Rachel beDeviled created the perfect Femdom venue – there were no pesky limits as to how I chose to use males at SOS.  Even better, I could make them bleed and scream in partnership with like-minded Dominas.  This was HEAVEN!!  I had so much fun, laughed harder than I had in years, and met some of the Dominatrixes I am honored to still work with in Divine Sadism.  One of these became my Partner and ultimate BESTIE – Natalia Kessel.

When Sadism Island shut down, I was bereft.  Standing around in a certain fetish sim watching everyone watching everyone made me crazy.  Sitting in throne circles listening to males babble made me crazier and pissed me off.   There was simply no SL Femdom venue for those of us who like it hard, who would much prefer staking a male to a cross and applying cock and ball torture over getting a pedicure or being served a lovely tea.
Starting my own sim seemed overwhelming, yet there was just no other option if I was going to continue to enjoy the dark side of Femdom on Second Life.  Since I am a pack rat, I had a huge BDSM inventory.  I found a good deal on land, with decent prims for $40.00 per month.  That was affordable. I could experiment without feeling stress or pressure to pay the tier.  I do not have to depend whatsoever upon tribute from males, yet such tribute has paid 100% of the Divine Sadism tier and provided for many of the toys and tools used by the Divine.

frenchy: That helps explain what motivated you to develop Divine Sadism.  After almost six months, how are you feeling about what you created?

Miss Rosa: Oh frenchy, I have to stress that Divine Sadism is much more than just “my” creation! From the beginning there has been a team of brilliant, sadistic Dominatrixes – the Divine, sharing their time and talent to build our Community.  My original three goals were to create a Femdom sim that encouraged the no-limit abuse and humiliation of males; supported the collaboration of Dominas with similar sadistic tastes; and offered a Community that might grow over time.  These goals have been achieved, and provide the foundation for the continued development of Divine Sadism. To learn more about that, watch for the upcoming post about our plans for the next sixth months in our little haven of pain and suffering.

frenchy:  We all will! Thank you again Miss Rosa for doing this interview and telling us so much about you and your vision of Divine Sadism. It has been thrilling! Goodbye Miss Rosa.

 

 

Save

Save

a masochistic role (see BDSM) wherein the role player achieves sexual gratification from experiencing varying levels of pain, usually at the hand(s) of a Master/Mistress.
That guy was such a pain slut that he was begging Me to punch him after I stomped on his balls.
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One of my big turn ons, is a slave that enjoys suffering for me. I want all of you losers who sit on the deck and crane your necks when I  walk by hoping to get my attention, to make a note on that point.

 

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An unexpected surprise came two weeks ago from a new slave to Divine Sadism named krissy. I caught him bragging about what a “pain slut” he was, and how he could endure; insert eye roll. What a perfect opportunity to test him! I had him burn six holes in his inner thigh with a lit cigarette; you know, one hole for each of the Divine Queen Bitches who maintain order around the sim.

 

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Suffice to say, I was immensely impressed, as he immediately got my attention. Now that he has it, it remains to be seen what he does with it.

In my experience, certain difficult moments in D/s can demonstrate dramatically how Communication and Trust are fundamental and even more critical than in any other kind of relationship. Communication helps to build the trust, and in return the trust allows us to deepen the communication. Only when they both reach a new level, it is possible to adventure ourselves with more demands and sacrifices. At the end of my last post, you could have witnessed that some doubts had started to raise in my mind, and you will see here how I continued to struggle with my emotions for about a week while I appeared lost, and in need of reassurance from Mistress Natalia. I was clearly worried about the direction we were taking, and I realized later that my stress might have also sent the wrong signals. Some talking was necessary, I will be always grateful to Mistress Natalia to have seen it, and created the circumstances so that it happens.You will see that it led me to go even deeper into submission and that it reinforced our bond.

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3/24 Day 1

Yesterday was a day with some relief as Mistress Natalia and I talked a bit casually but I wish I could have more time to stay online to talk more about certain things… Today was busy but I missed my Mistress.I hope to have some time to see her tomorrow afternoon since I won’t have much opportunities to come online this week-end. It is Day 1 today since yesterday night, I had intercourse with my wife. I still have 23 more days without touching  myself though.

3/25 Day 2

Nothing much to say today so far. I logged after lunch. Mistress Natalia was online but seemed busy not wanting to see me. I played chess in world and I visited some friends. I talked also with chigley who told me about what happened to him. I also had a small conversation with Miss Rosa.

3/26 Day 3

I spent a lazy day reading and napping, enjoying family time. I also thought of Mistress Natalia, on how things seem to have taken a different turn since She came back from Germany and that I need to speak with Her. I hope we can find a moment for that next time I see Her online.

3/27 Day 4

I miss Mistress Natalia. She left without a words after a few minutes today. I sent her a gift I hope she received it.

3/28 Day 5

I miss Mistress Natalia. These emotions are deep and it hurts continuously since almost a week. I want to trust Mistress Natalia and I have opened myself to this vulnerability state. I can endure that for some time but I am wondering if I am on the right  track…

3/29 Day 6

I am starting to feel more accurately again the physical need to touch my genitals in bed or in the morning shower and to release myself from the seeds I am accumulating in my testicles. I am realizing also that unconsciously I feel that I must be in presence of my Mistress to get some release of this physical need even if this is to endure some abuse although of course the treats Mistress Natalia gives me from time to time are my favorites. The physical need is then mixed with the emotional thirst to be with my Mistress and/or  to feel her presence in my restraints or from the RL tasks she gives me sometimes….I need that constant feeling to be owned by Mistress Natalia, my Mistress. I need her praise, I desperately need to know I make Her happy…

3/30 Day 7

I enjoyed so much the time I spent with Mistress Natalia yesterday.  Being able to have these moments with my Mistress is important for me and I am immensely grateful to Her for making them happen. It balances the D/s dynamic and it allows to know each other on different levels and also to clarify the untold. I love Her and to be Hers in this D/s relationship that I wish to strengthen and to deepen.

My body reacted again strongly to the need to touch and I could not help but rub it against furniture early this morning and to edge. After this edging I feel my testicles even more aching and needy for release…I am craving to use my hands to do so. That makes me feel pathetic, weak and surprisingly needy to feel more in my flesh the control of Mistress Natalia.

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3/31 Day 8

Yesterday was uneventful, I did not come very long online since I had some things to do but being with my Mistress, pleasing  Her, serving Her is something I long for everyday. It is a craving that is building up in parallel with that increasing hitch for sexual release. My testicles and penis are aching for being stroked and emptied.  I am getting obsessed with that even more now that I edged 2 days ago…I see myself rubbing against furniture when I have an opportunity. I feel like an animal.  I am also thinking about this thing of being able to orgasm at will in a very short time for Mistress Natalia; I would love to train for that but how? ( I remembered this  story of a slave who was locked in chastity cage permanently and the cage was open once a week by his Mistress and he would erect and cum without touching right away. That sounded crazy….)

4/2 Day 10

I am getting obsessed with my chastity state. I am feeling again my testicles aching for release every other moment since yesterday.. Today when watching a  movie or reading, I could not prevent myself from squeezing my thighs and twisting myself on my armchair or even rubbing my heels against my sack and penis  to try to get some relief of that tension.  When walking in the street I had to fight hard not to get an erection when I was feeling my penis rubbing against the fabric of my pants  as I was thinking of Mistress Natalia at the same time… I don’t know how I will keep staying in that state, I feel my testicles heavy and aching as I write. I feel desperate for release but at the same time I cannot deny I enjoy the torture….

4/3 Day 11

I feel like it is has been an eternity since I did not stroke myself with my hands. I am pretty much like in the same state as yesterday. I am craving to take my testicles in my hands and squeeze them, massage them gently  to diminish the aching/hitching. I keep squeezing my thighs in the most twisted position when I can. I just would like to stroke so bad and at least edge a few times even if that will make things worse in the end.. The evil laugh of Mistress Natalia (when she read my previous entry) made me squirm with desire and I feel happy  she is amused as I keep squeezing my thighs when writing this…I cannot think straight..I cannot focus much if I have not something else that distracts me….I don’t know if I make much sense….I am between the strong desire to obey my Mistress and the need of my body for release… or to be touched….sometimes I have the temptations to use my hands…I feel so pathetic with my contortions …yet I can’t take the risk of deceiving my Mistress because I prefer one million times more to please Her than having release: I need and crave Her more than anything.

4/5 Day 13

Yesterday Mistress Natalia allowed me to use my hands to touch myself in the shower and in return we will go shopping for her.  She is so generous to let me have some release and to give me an opportunity to please Her in going shopping with Her.  I love Her, I hope she will have extravagant shopping desires so that I can please her extravagantly.

So I did touch myself  last night as I could not wait any longer. I inserted a finger in my bum, chanting the 6 words sentence in my head and  with my other hand I started to massage my sack and stroke my penis which got hard and throbbing very quickly. I did not do it very long because I felt I could not keep doing it without getting an orgasm. I kept massaging my testicles a bit more though but when I removed my finger from my anus a small quantity of sperm came out of my penis just on its own….I could not control it. I did not touch very long but still I felt so bad and so guilty and I hope Mistress Natalia won’t be too much displeased. The feeling of guilt ruined the relaxation I was hoping from playing with myself and my testicles still hurt and I am still desperate for having an orgasm which might be delayed even more now…..

This morning I woke up with strong thoughts of my Mistress and of some of the things we said yesterday. My feeling for her are getting stronger and deeper. My penis was hard and throbbing and I leaked some precum. (since I sleep naked, I might have stained the sheets), I feel like something has changed or is changing inside me. I am not sure what exactly but I feel something new, a desire I never had before….It is not a desire to serve or to obey or to please her…may be a desire to suffer for Her…

 

4/6 Day 1

So yesterday, we did some shopping with Mistress Natalia. It was already a pleasure to spoil her but then she spoiled me with the most exciting treat afterwards. She teased me in such a wicked way that i got horny like hell in my own office leaking pre-cum in my underwear. Her sweetness,  her strict directives, the verbal humiliation, the teasing about a RL chastity device, the privilege to go in bed with Her and the orgasm under her command, all this was mind blowing. I did not expect it and I am grateful to my Mistress to surprise me like she does every time. I adore this spontaneity, her genius to create such moments from an impulsion or an intuition and to take me generously in her wicked and rich world of sensations and feelings. Moreover knowing she has enjoyed this moment as much as I did is the cherry on the cake. I love you Mistress, You are so special.

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4/7 Day 2

Each time I am in company of Mistress Natalia my heart is pounding and my penis twitches or leaks. This happened yesterday and more so when we spoke about a RL chastity device. Each time I leak pre-cum it makes the chastity period more aching and difficult to endure. So I started yesterday evening to feel my testicles needing some care already. However it was fine it is just 2 days since my last orgasm.  Now I think that conversation about the RL chastity device had however a big impact on me because during the night I dreamed of Mistress Natalia and woke up thinking about the device. I got a strong arousal and became extremely hard and then, when I realized how it would be painful to have the device with such an arousal I became  even harder and throbbing, leaking pre-cum probably staining the sheets.  I could not stop  completely thinking about it and it happened several times during the night, so many times that it felt like it was continuous for several hours. Even this morning I had that hard-on throbbing like it rarely happens. I was even wondering if I could stop it…..I can’t imagine how it will be when I wear this cage and Mistress Natalia teases me…..

4/8 Day 3

So Mistress Natalia found a place in Chelsea where she wanted me to get a device that she chose to restrict my RL “pee pee” as she always ironically says. After the excitation to be locked by Her it caused me the night before and my profound  desire to please Her, I could not resist to obey Her instruction even though this is making me extremely nervous. So I went there, it was very easy to find and in fact I discovered this neighborhood has a lot of such shops. When I entered inside, I was not really nervous but still I preferred to check out the items on my own without having to ask a person there explaining  I was looking for a chastity device (smiles) but of course those were displayed in a  showcase so … I had to. The thing looked like we had seen on the website just a bit larger than I expected: it was sitting in a white box like those designed for the apple products so I just bought the i-chastity device  and left..

So…later at home, yesterday night, I tried it and then realized it was not that easy to put it on. In particular, the ring is difficult to insert since one needs to pass the scrotum and the penis inside. I thought I could not do it but I succeeded eventually with the larger ring. It felt tight enough but since it was taking a huge place I worked out to put the middle ring and it worked. Then I put the part on the penis itself which is narrow even though I wasn’t aroused. In the end once everything is put together and locked, it’s a big package which is not so easy to hide probably because of the ring which is  quite thick. I took a few pictures for Mistress Natalia. It’s not very comfortable and it is impossible to forget when it is on but it does not hurt…. well at least when one is not aroused….

4/10 Day 4

Yesterday was the first time I had to wear the device when online with Mistress Natalia who demanded from me to wear it 30 minutes before I had to go offline at my research seminar. Even though It made me extremely nervous and I wanted to start that later I could not refuse her this amusement. As She showed me off in my new state to Miss Rosa and teased me, I immediately felt aroused and at the same time weaker and more submissive than usual. In that state, the impossibility to fully erect is utmost frustrating and source of excitement at the same time. It is caused by the narrowness of the cage (even when I am not aroused) and of the ring that must limit the blood flow. Instead of getting fully erected I feel my penis twitch more and consequently leak pre-cum. That makes me feel weak, horny, submissive and pathetic. It is a suffering but a pleasure at the same time. Later in the afternoon, when speaking with Mistress Natalia, I was constantly distracted by these sensations as I felt aroused by Her presence and attention. Consequently I have leaked a lot on Friday and it was fortunate I had protected my underwear with some tissue otherwise my pants would have been certainly wet. These leaks add to my frustration and even if it is only 4 days after my last orgasm, I am starting to feel like it is more.

My wife and I went out today and did some shopping. In the afternoon we decided to go get some massage at one of our local Chinese massage joints. The young female masseur who took care of me was particularly skilled and I felt very relaxed and she even massaged my bum lower than they usually do in these places. It was so good that I got very aroused and would have been fully erect if I had not stayed on my stomach. Instead my penis twitched  and leaked. I felt even more aroused when it made me think of Mistress Natalia and the chastity device She had me get… Fortunately neither my wife who were getting a massage next to me nor the masseur noticed or that would have been very embarrassing. Now my body is feeling needy again for release….

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4/11 Day 5

After i wrote my log last night, I watched a movie and went to bed around 2am. I was tired, nevertheless I woke up maybe 2 hours later with Mistress Natalia in my thoughts. These thoughts got me aroused, throbbing and leaking for most of the night. I was so horny and leaking that it felt like I could have an orgasm in just a few seconds even though I was not touching myself. This disturbed my sleep the entire night even though I was trying to think of something else as my mind was always coming back to the same thing. I have the impression that my brain circuits for arousal are getting completely rewired towards just the thought of being owned, controlled, used or abused by Mistress Natalia or in three words of being her bitch. I am really becoming a pervert if I was not one already ! LOL

I got out of bed with a fully erected and leaking penis at 11 am to answer a call. I was dying to stroke and cum but I could not. I even believe that if I had decided to disobey and do this without permission I would not have taken any pleasure but would only had a felt guilty to displease my Mistress. My sexual stamina was so high that I had to cool it off one way or another; so I decided to go to the gym. I think I never was as full of energy in the gym as I was this morning despite the very agitated night. At some moment, my thoughts drifted to Mistress Natalia and even when I was running I could feel I was going to get a full erection if I let it go. After the gym, the sauna, the cold shower I was feeling better. I walked back home satisfied of that gym session and relaxed.

However, I know something is changing deep inside me. It comes from and is for Mistress Natalia. It is new and exciting. I would lie or would be stupid not to be nervous about it. I am clearly losing control. That’s fine because I trust Her. It is possible because I trust Her. I have decided to embrace this and I think I love it. It balances with other aspects of my personality and my life. Where ever it takes me, it takes us, I think the adventure is worth it because of who Mistress Natalia is. My deep and special feelings for Her are part of that journey and it is what makes it even more real…

 

If you are not yet bored of following my steps in the Realm of Mistress Natalia, here is the third installment from my chastity log. My last post ended when She was leaving for a week of work overseas, and had given me the instructions to follow Miss Rosa’s training during her absence. Coincidentally, I was also leaving for vacation in Florida that same week preventing me from coming online as it was expected by Miss Rosa. It was unfortunate, because She had plans and as you will see I had to endure the consequences of my failure to meet Her expectations . This left me with doubts as you will see which will be clarified in part 4 if you keep reading.

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3/11 Day 6

As I said yesterday morning, I received some instructions from Miss Rosa concerning my chastity.
1) No touching my penis with my hands
2) Hump furniture and edges at least 4 times
3) Being allowed to touch some parts of my genitals or my anus except my penis at the price of a picture.
To accomplish 1) I need now to sit every single time I want to pee. I do that sometimes but doing it every time is embarrassing and a constraint but it does not bother me too much.

For 2), I went back home yesterday afternoon because I knew I would be alone and  I humped the corner of my mattress like I did last Saturday and I stimulated my testicles with my hands knowing I will have to pay with a picture for that. I edged 4 times when humping and even leaked pre-cum in my underwear. I was again like in heat and was so needy to ejaculate. I made pictures and  sent them to Miss Rosa at night as she instructed. Miss Rosa was happy of how I accomplished what I had to do and I was glad she was. We had the opportunity to talk more than we usually do and it was very good because it makes me know her better and be less anxious when around her.

Mistress Natalia left a wicked laughter as an offline this morning. I miss Her. I hope Her upcoming travel won’t be too stressful.

3/14 Day 1

Friday afternoon, I humped all I could in my office and I massaged my testicles (and I made 4 pictures of that) but I could not put myself in a mindset and get aroused. I could not find more privacy to be in a state that would allow me to edge without using my hands. It was very frustrating because I really wanted to do what Miss Rosa instructed…I saw Her a bit later to give Her the pictures I shot and fortunately She seemed to be happy of what I had done. She then told me that my instruction would be in the following days to keep aiming to edging.

Saturday, we flew to Miami for the spring break. The hotel we are in is nice …I did not know when I would have some alone time to be able to follow Miss Rosa’s instructions, however I got an idea: I will do it during the morning when my wife goes out for a walk on the beach with her dog since she knows I like to sleep late on vacation mornings. So I tried again Sunday mornings but I could not really get aroused. It is very difficult to get myself in the mindset sometimes and not being allowed to touch make things even more difficult.
So  I failed again Sunday morning. However Sunday afternoon I had sex with my wife (so today is Day 1) and it was a real relief of the frustration although because of the chastity cntraints of the last few weeks I was not able to hold it very long….

We are now Monday morning and I  walked up earlier to try again to hump things in the bedroom  following Miss Rosa’s instructions when my wife is outside walking on the beach. I got more successful and I made some pictures. I did not get a full erection but it’s difficult to do so without being in feminine presence and without being able to touch…. I hope Miss Rosa will be satisfied by the pictures. I had sent an email to Her but I wonder if She saw it…..I also sent one to Mistress Natalia. and am longing to talk to Her ….I hope She is well.

3/17 Day 1

After reading my last entries, Miss Rosa gave me new instructions and allowed me to have access again to my genitals and  masturbate if I insert my forefinger in my anus and investigate my prostate at the same time. I was also instructed to repeat the mantra “my hole is meant to be fucked”. I did so everyday since each time I am alone or when I think of it. I have said it out loud as well when I can. I feel silly saying that but I feel it is also getting to me and makes me desire to be fucked this way.

I have masturbated once following Miss Rosa instructions and have explored my prostate. I think I have located it and have started to get some feeling of it but not anything really pleasurable. Maybe I touched it too lightly but I am nervous about hurting if I push it too hard. I have tried several time though and I am getting to it more easily now. I have done more pictures as she demanded as well and gave them today.

I was thrilled to see Mistress Natalia today even though I ended up being punished. It hurts more than anything to see her disappointed and I deserve the punishment since I did not meet Mistress Natalia and Miss Rosa’s expectations. I will work more to learn on how to anticipate what is expected. I just hope Mistress Natalia did not see that as a lack of commitment. The 30 days of chastity are going to be terrible to endure….

3/18 Day 2

I am having insomnia not only because I was woken up by the music outside (still active at 5am) but also because my mind can’t stop thinking and reflecting  like  most of yesterday alone time  to  what happened yesterday morning. I have had mixed feelings and I got to  wonder if I should just think on how to please better or if I should stop doing that and  just react instinctively to the grooming I am the subject of.

Basically punishments come as a way of grooming when an expectation has not been met.  Of course nothing new here but what I am not used to is that  it could be that this expectation was never (clearly or not)  formulated at all. Anticipation is the key here and I probably failed because I do not know Miss Rosa well enough to anticipate her expectations which could be different from Mistress Natalia’s. I will therefore work on getting to know Miss Rosa better in case a similar situation occur. More generally speaking,  I also have to thrive harder to create new ways to meet the expectations of Mistress Natalia in case the usual ways can’t be possible because or the circumstances. Also I have to stay alert to anticipate any expectation She could have.

Finally, I can’t finish without expressing my gratitude to Mistress Natalia for giving me this punishment that teaches me to serve and please Her better and to Miss Rosa for having tested me during Mistress Natalia’s absence. Also I am happy that Mistress Natalia enjoys making my life miserable. It is one of the ways of pleasing Her and it makes my life miserable but not too much thanks to that.  The worse pain is to see her displeased or disappointed. For me, it is the true punishment.

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3/19 day 3

Yesterday Mistress Natalia continued to punish me by having me wear a sissy outfit She had a lot of  fun creating as I got humiliated in front of everyone….So I am now on duty to scrub the deck of DS in this sissy outfit with instruction to greet each “Divine” in a certain way and stress that “my hole is meant to be fucked” to add to my humiliation. This has had already a consequence since Miss Isabelle I never met took this opportunity to have my pixel hole used by her boy…

I hate to be feminized and treated as a sissy but I will do it gracefully to please Mistress Natalia as I know She is enjoying to make me feel miserable for my punishment. The idea I am pleasing Her in this way it what matters to me after all. The rest is secondary. This treatment reminds me of the experiences I had in the past but I feel much more detached from  this now. I also should add that I admire the confidence that  Mistress Natalia  has  in her power and ability to inflict this to me  knowing it is something I would classify as a hard limit. This confidence in Her power and superiority over me is very arousing. Each time She displays it with strength it makes me melt. When I thought of it yesterday and today I can’t help but feel an arousal which reminds me of my chastity state for the next 27 days…I feel already this will make me feel or become even more submissive and it makes me shiver in anticipation…

3/20 Day 4

The thoughts of my submission to Mistress Natalia, of Her power, of my desire to make Her happy, of my forbidden access to my genitals for 26 more days, of the instructions to develop my anal sexuality do not leave me in peace when I am not occupied by something else. It also triggers arousal and cravings to touch myself and I do what I can only do considering the restrictions … I caress my anus and insert a finger which gives me some relief but also makes me want to touch again and again making me desire for something more intense…At the same time my love for Mistress Natalia, the craving to please Her,  to be near Her and the need for Her praises keep my mind full of thoughts of Her…I feel I want to do more for Her, anything She wants, going one or more steps further in my submission…if She wants to allow it and I am feeling like begging for it sometimes… What keeps me from doing it, is not pride nor shyness but the fear She interprets it like a selfish need. Also I trust Her way to conduct this in the pace She knows is best.

3/21 Day 5

Yesterday was another emotional strike to me and I felt down again last afternoon after Mistress Natalia left as I am worried she is still disappointed. I don’t know if this is an intentional mind fuck to break me or if it is a real doubt about my intentions for doing what was expected of me during my week in Miami but I feel like I am losing it lately. Of course, I know I am tested to take whatever  treatment I am given which I will take as much as I can because I chose to submit fully to Mistress Natalia to please Her and make Her happy always. I have seen Miss Rosa last night and she said nice encouraging words and I felt better before going to bed. This morning I felt slightly aroused at the thought of becoming more submissive and hurried up to get prepared to be online to serve Mistress Natalia but it would be a lie not to say I feel anxious …

3/22 Day 6

Yesterday morning I spent more than 3 hours at DS doing my duty, scrubbing the floor and welcoming the Divines and offering my service and my hole as instructed. Miss G asked me to clean her dirty boots and fucked me hard and merciless calling me “whore” all the time. What an humiliation! It did not get aroused  but I am sure I leaked some precum out of it, like each time I am humiliated harshly. Each time this leaking happens, it makes the chastity even more difficult to bear….

In the afternoon, I had the happiness to see Mistress Natalia and be relieved from my punishment for a time together. It felt like a rainbow of sweetness after the storm of emotional torture of the last few days. It made me feel light and I was so happy to share that moment with my Mistress. This morning and tonight I felt some arousing when thinking of Mistress Natalia and how submissive I feel able to be just for Her and that feeling amplifies if I touch my anus the only thing I am allowed to touch for the next 24 days….

3/23 Day 7

Yesterday evening , Mistress Natalia and Miss Rosa convoked me and it was again emotionally stressful even if I can see too well (some of) the strings pulled by the two manipulative and smart Dominas who seem to play in unison their art of domination. At least, Mistress Natalia enjoyed it which is what matters. I don’t know about Miss Rosa who seems to ignore me today… I did not sleep well mainly because all this is raising doubts about my compatibility with Mistress Natalia. I don’t think I am that kind of masochistic slave feeling pain all the time but who at least gets a turn on from the suffering even if no pleasure… I can do a lot sacrifices and get pain to please but not permanently and I cannot deny who I am: I am not looking for pleasure for myself but what if my desire gets affected ?

In this continuation of my chastity log, I shamelessly show  an uncontrollable lust inspired by an irresistible desire and need of being the property of  Mistress Natalia. The style is confused, rough and with repetitions of words that can only show a loss of self control and display how my obsession for Her is enhanced by my chastity state. When I reread it, I can only imagine how amused She must have been to see the powerful impact of Her control on my arousal and how I am conflicted between the urges of my body and my need to please and obey Her. Maybe it should be kept in mind that this log was originally written exclusively for Mistress Natalia. However She has decided to expose my predicaments here for Her amusement and yours. I hope you enjoy it.

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2/25 Day 1

There is not much to say about yesterday except that Mistress Natalia is always in my mind during the day and when I wake up in the middle of the night which makes he constraint of chastity felt sharper. Of course I therefore miss Her when She is not around. Still I was happy to be able to say a quick hello yesterday and that she is back in NYC. I can’t wait to see Her again and I know my heart will race when She will appear online. I feel like my thirst of Her will never be quenched but is only getting stronger …

2/26 Day 2

Mistress Natalia is settling both in my mind and my heart and I care a lot for Her happiness but She was apparently not feeling great yesterday. My heart tightened to hear that. I hope She will recover soon from the tiredness of the last few days and feel better. There is nothing like seeing her laugh, smile and be happy…

Like each morning now, my head filled up with thoughts of Her when I woke up. The realization of Her grip on my mind, Her power over me, my willingness and my hunger to obey Her commands  fueled an erection for Her that got even stronger from the knowledge I was restricted to touch and that the my penis is Her property … I wanted to touch at least my testicles but I did know whether I was allowed to and I therefore could not … instead I kept the thought  of being Hers in my mind until I had to go in the shower

3/1 Day 6

I miss Mistress Natalia so much. Finding myself needy and weak, I have been trying to stay away from SL since Mistress Natalia is not around. But I am unable to focus on anything as the frustrating sensations of my penis and balls forced to chastity keep distracting me. I am needy of Mistress Natalia. More than anything I crave to serve and to be near Her and that She uses or abuses me. Feeling desperately ready to give her the keys of my kinks She would demand to make me even more vulnerable or manipulable and be totally at Her mercy as I find myself so weak that I would have no resistance against any of Her whims.

3/4 Day 9

I am pretty much in the same state except that it is getting worse. I am desperate to serve Mistress Natalia and be near Her. The chastity, the sperm getting stuck and drying out in my testicles are making me more desperate every morning and every night or when I have time alone for myself…I can’t concentrate on anything….

3/5 Day 0

In a moment of pure generosity, Mistress Natalia allowed me have an orgasm during the week-end with the condition I do not use my hands. I was so grateful and happy of Mistress Natalia’s kindness to allow me this relief although I would have been as happy to suffer more for her if she had desired it. Also, I could not help but feel my admiration for her way to always add a challenge to spice up Her directions. This challenge of not using my hands kept me preoccupied most of the next few hours after I read Mistress Natalia’s message and so even when I was at Carnegie Hall yesterday evening for a Flamenco concert. This tells how much my chastity state would not let me focus much on anything….

So I tried to think of all the ways I could use to get an erection and eventually cum without using my hands to stimulate my penis. From using the heel of my right foot to rub myself – but I could only hit my testicles which did stimulate me but a wrong move would hurt a lot and ruin everything – or rubbing myself against a furniture, the edge of the bath tube or even a door or a wall, I felt myself several times quite pathetic and desperate during the late evening. I also thought about using mental auto suggestions and I discovered that sometimes just repeating myself over and over again “I am Mistress Natalia’s property” or any variation of it invoking my obedience would put me in a plenitude state of arousal and make my penis grow hard as if each time I said the sentence I was stroking my penis. I also tried to squeeze my penis between my thighs and twist and squirm my body to create a stimulation….

However given the constraint, I could not have enough privacy to be able to reach orgasm so I waited the Saturday morning when I was by myself. The night had been quite agitated and I could feel my blue balls aching for release more than ever. I eventually used the corner of my mattress that I humped desperately, groaning and moaning widely without holding back to reach the orgasm that I needed so much. I imagined Mistress Natalia watching me and how hilarious that would have been for her to see me in that state. That humiliating thought finished to complete my arousal until I came inside my underwear which I filled with warm and white thick sperm, unloading the weight of frustration I was carrying these last ten days….

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3/7 Day 2

After getting the release of Saturday morning, the week-end went smoothly with no longer having to struggle with the constantly reminded frustration sitting in my testicles. Even the morning erections felt much healthier (I noticed that – contrary to what I thought – when I am in chastity for more than a week or so my erections do not happen as often without physical stimulation or direct tease). It was a relief to be able to focus on other things when needed to. I am so grateful to Mistress Natalia for allowing me this release. My increasing love for Her has no equal but my devotion and my desire to please Her more than anything. I know it is a challenging journey to serve Her but it is one of the most exciting I ever had and I am immensely grateful to Her to have taken me in it.

3/9 Day 4

Yesterday was a busy day and I did not have much to think about my chastity state. However this morning, I really felt the need to play with myself again and it took me a lot of effort to resist the temptation. I was even going to fail but once in the bathroom I could hold myself thanks to the thought of Mistress Natalia and went to take my shower as usual. I feel that keeping this chastity state into a regular thing is more difficult on the long run than I expected and it is getting to me. Only  for Mistress Natalia can I do this with the desire to submit to Her will and not disappoint Her. I need to keep winning this fight against the animal urges of my body and the lust of my mind. How long will I be able to do that without begging Mistress Natalia for relaxing this constant restriction?

3/10 Day 5

It is only 5 days and I feel the urge to ejaculate as if the few times (three times) I had the opportunity to do so in the last 30 days did not allow me to ever empty my testicles. It is as if the frustration is pilling up in my flesh making my mind blur and confused, unable to focus on the usual and making me weak and more submissive than ever.

I have to deal with my sexual frustration and my deep desire to please Mistress Natalia. I hope that I will find the strength to stay chaste as long as Mistress Natalia wants. I would just feel so bad or even sad to disappoint or displease Her. I do not care about my sexual pleasure. I only care about Her but my body is my enemy here in making me physically weak and frustrated like a devil tempting me at every corner. I need so much to stop feeling the teases of my flesh between my thighs….

Mistress Natalia is gone for a week and I will miss Her so much. Miss Rosa will be controlling me during Her absence and she has given me already instructions that will surely challenge even more my chastity state. I will have to seek for energy and strength in me to be able to hold it. I will do whatever it takes to draw them from my passion and devotion to please my Mistress.

 

 

I met Mistress Natalia on January 20th; and since then, it has been a roller coaster ride of emotions I would not have imagined in my wildest dreams. I am a French guy in his forties,  successful in my scientific field of research and married, some would say alpha in my everyday RL life. A few years ago, I have  discovered a taste for D/s dynamics and more recently an irresistible attraction for dominant women. It is banal to say that often in our society a man discovering such desires struggles in accepting them and understanding what they really are about. However, if one keeps an open mind and one meets the right person, it can become much easier. Like many of us, I have had numerous experiences in SL with various people and it took  me some time to figure out what is what and for example make the difference between being kinky and being submissive: Enjoying a strap-on does not make you a submissive and being submissive does not mean you desire to be used in this way, but I am digressing now…

What I wanted to say is that when I met Mistress Natalia, I was not only struck by Her sharp intelligence, Her open mind and how easy it is to communicate with Her or in one word how I clicked with Her exceptional personality but also by the fact that I knew for certain that if I had met Her earlier I would not have struggled so much in accepting and understanding my inner needs. It is for these reasons, as I told Her that day, that I felt extremely lucky just to have had the chance to speak with Her (even if at that moment I did not expect this would go anywhere). It does not mean it is easy of course; nothing of value in life comes easily. But serving Mistress Natalia is worth all the sacrifices I can make for this to happen and learning how to serve Her is a permanent and exciting challenge that I find myself incredibly privileged and grateful to be able to take. Even in the most difficult moments, my passion for Her doesn’t stop growing.

At Her request, I am presenting below some extracts of my chastity log or journal that She asked me to start writing about a month after we met. You will see how my feelings and devotion have developed and how I am becoming more enslaved to Her every single day. It also shows how I naively opened myself to Her and how confused I am in the process. If you can read between the lines like She can, you might see even more about my vulnerabilities.

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2/17

Mistress Natalia who gave me the privilege to own me and which I still am learning how to please allowed me to play with myself last night with  the specific instruction of inserting my middle finger inside my rectum when doing it. I very rarely do it this way and it brings mixed feelings and sensations. I let my mind wander when I was wriggling my finger and stroking my shaft, letting some fantasies taking control of my arousal — Mistress Natalia and her constant reminder that I am Her Property and under Her Strict Control is what made me the most excited (after the idea of Her fucking me with a strap-on with some of her sexy leather outfits). It was very exciting but at the same time, I felt pathetic to do this with my finger there… When I reached my orgasm, I ejaculated a thicker sperm than usual probably due to the several days of chastity that had just ended. But the finger inside my anus sort of ruined the pleasure I usually have when doing this; so I did it another time but removed the finger just before I came, it was not as good as it would have the first time though but it was a true relief. A new period of chastity is now starting, I am determined to honor Mistress Natalia’s will and control proudly.

2/18  Day 1

I woke up thinking of Mistress Natalia and feeling through a morning arousal the grip she holds already on my mind. Just thinking how She seemingly effortless makes me bend to Her will and control boosted my arousal even more and I found myself throbbing even harder and sort of uncontrollably. It left me  frustrated physically not to be allowed to touch myself still knowing that this constraint was also fueling my  arousal: one of the many contradictions and mixed feelings of a submissive in a D/s relationship.

I did not really think I would have to say anything about my chastity condition on this first day but eventually I had. As my mind was wandering and was considering what I could write in my log today, I realized and convened that giving my thoughts away every day in this log  will give as many keys to Mistress Natalia on how to lock me even more under Her control. Looking back at the path taken already until now in about a month, considering the mistakes I have made and how I paid for them progressively without blinking, either to show my willingness to please (and because there was no real other option) or even because I knew I deserved it, seeing how I am already craving Mistress Natalia’s presence so much that  I would just content myself to be near Her when She chats with others seemingly ignoring some of my remarks but knowing She watches me, feeling my hunger to please and to receive strict orders from Her…..all that…makes me deeply aware of my situation and scares me that there might be no turning back, in the sense that I might not want to turn back even if I wanted to. In other words, I feel that the control I have given willingly to Mistress Natalia might already be out of my reach to take it back, me who once had limits, I see myself swallowing things for Her I would not have done for anyone before…..that’s how good  and amazing She is….

2/19 Day 2

I feel very lucky, proud and privileged not only to become closer and closer to Mistress Natalia but to be now Her bitch carrying a new name  “frenchy” she has chosen for me with all what it entails. As Miss Rosa said “I have got this far” and it makes me so happy to have pleased Mistress Natalia as much as it made me earn this. Seeing Her happy or pleasing Her is what gives all the meaning to this incipient bond that is making me more vulnerable but at the same time stronger. More vulnerable because I am craving Her more everyday and am slowly but surely opening myself to give Her more ways to control me, to own me or to inflict me pain.  Stronger because my feelings and trust in Her fill me with courage and strength to deal with the challenges ahead which make me nervous as I feel more and more that I am approaching the point of no return. Should I tell her my heart races each time she appears online or when I read  ” ηɑէɑlιɑ Қєşşєl is typing….” on the top my chat window or she knows it already?

2/20 Day 3

Yesterday was busy and intense. Busy because I had to perform in a gay acting show, had to serve Miss Mancipia and her friend Miss Alix and finally and unexpectedly got dressed in a whore outfit by Mistress Natalia and Miss Rosa for a next to come pimp out trip. Intense because of the consequent deep humiliations that entail these.

Of course, my deep desire and motivation is to bring happiness and amusement to my Mistress. Seeing She is satisfied, happy and proud is an immense joy and a genuine intimate pride. This is a truly amazing feeling which is boosted by my growing love for Her. On the other hand, the humiliations and manipulations I am the subject of  are undoubtedly tougher and psychologically more exhausting each time. I am not a masochist. But I think I have been able to handle them quite well  thanks to  the smiles that all this has brought on the face of Mistress Natalia.

I am well aware that at the same time this allows Her to take  even more control over me and that fact combined with Her strong confidence in Her power  and  Her irradiant presence , when I thought of it a posteriori  has brought me again tonight an uncontrollable arousal. I felt my penis grow suddenly hard and throbbing so much that I felt like a warm pulsation was enveloping all my senses and my mind. I could almost have been dreaming  that Mistress Natalia was physically with me and  had tied me up at Her mercy and  were stroking me to the edge forbidding me to cum. It was very strong and powerful like I was high and this shows one more time that Power/Exchange turns me on like nothing else. It happened two times during the night which was therefore quite agitated….

I thought about a metaphor…. The first few days with Mistress Natalia, it was like I was walking in shallow waters..my bare feet would hurt some stones and I would have to be more careful how to progress…as I pursue the journey the water gets deeper and, faster than I thought  I need to walk on my toes to keep my head above water…I am following her and I feel that  I will soon need to learn how to swim and even to swim in deep waters….when that time comes, that will signify I have lost all control…

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2/22 Day 5

During the day following the last entry, I was quite nervous and anxious. It was probably because I did not sleep much the night before which was agitated as I said. I was mixed between the desire to come online and the need to take a break from the intense emotions I am increasingly feeling since I met Mistress Natalia. Also I went out in Central Park and in my neighborhood, the week-end was quite nice. I just came online Saturday to send my log and to greet Miss Rosa at DS.

However Saturday and Sunday nights  were still agitated : when I was in bed, my mind was freely wandering and I experienced again those arousal  which are getting more and more frustrating since I can’t touch myself. It does not only become frustrating but also obsessing when I sometimes am unable to think of something else and craving to be near my Mistress just to be given strict orders and to feel Her superiority and Dominance over me. And also, this state of chastity makes me feel even more submissive and confused…I don’t know what I want….if I want to be released from chastity or being enforced more…maybe because I know  that what I desire is actually what Mistress Natalia wants….

And She said I will need a life jacket …

2/23 Day 6

I can’t believe it has been only 6 full days of chastity. The last interval of abstinence was 9 days and I could have kept it longer but this time the frustration and the physical need for release is much higher. I haven’t interacted much with Mistress Natalia yesterday but even when I hung out with my SL friends She was in the back of my mind. And I spent an unusual amount of time to look for shoes that I liked and that I hope She would like to complement her outfit. So, She is kind of getting obsessively in my mind now…like I am in love….

After hanging out with my SL friends, I have had a more peaceful evening though until before going to bed when I checked my email  and  read these words from Mistress Natalia’s response to my last entry : “Right where I want you animal”. These simple words hit me harder than I could have expected. And the night was a bit agitated not only because of these words dancing in my mind when I went to bed but because for about 3 times during the night when I was half conscious half asleep I felt a kind  of convulsive arousal : My penis was growing and twitching at the same time uncontrollably as I was imagining Mistress Natalia smacking hard my bare ass with her bare hand. As I was in that state, I felt like an animal – literally- left with just my basic urges of sex, fear and submission. I had touched my penis I would have ejaculated in no time. I leaked however leaving me frustrated, pathetic and weak as I had no will to break my chastity cycle but only a desire to stay in the state Mistress Natalia wants me to be in.

The training I am receiving from Mistress Natalia seemed to appear in a new light. The fact She sometimes calls me “animal”, like if this is where She wants me to be – as she said – as an animal She can control using its basic animal urges as buttons She plays with. Of course, I kind of knew that before, but only unconsciously or just theoretically but last night I felt it in my flesh…

2/24 Day 0

Yesterday Mistress Natalia showered me with attention and rewarded me with an unexpected non-BDSM time which filled me with happiness and gratitude. The time spent with Mistress Natalia flies always and makes me each time desire for more, wanting to know more of Her and realizing how little I know and how much I need or crave to learn. There is no such thing as learning all about someone but spending time with Her, impregnating myself of Her ways to be and interact and learning the information She lets out about Herself is how my curiosity and needs of Her will be fed. Maybe more importantly, it fuels the relationship in intimacy and trust and makes it ready to develop more as possibilities open up.

This is Day 0 again because Mistress Natalia instructed me to orgasm last night time and to achieve this in 60 s or less. This is towards my training to reaching orgasm on command. As instructed, I isolated myself in the bathroom and set the stopwatch to 60 s before playing with my penis. No need to say I was a bit stressed not to succeed considering the past nights frustrations. Maybe for this reason and because  of the very short time I had to set up my mind to this, I hardly succeeded to get a full erection but on the other hand, I came quite pathetically releasing myself of some of the  load of sperm I had accumulated during  the strong arousal of the past few days. So I consider it as half a success…I would need some help from Mistress Natalia to learn how to set up my mind faster….

 

 

This is a little bit of a retroactive posting as I have been remiss in my duties lately as the Editrix of this blog. Perfect slaves don’t come around that often. michel(or as I like to call him frenchy) came out of nowhere. The cutsie nickname should indicate that I have already pegged him, and he is now one of my bitches.

I guess that he had spotted me in one of his fetish groups and decided it would bea good idea to chat me up. Unlike most of the losers that do, this one managed to check all of the boxes(he was polite, somewhat interesting, had done his homework by reading my blog, answered direct questions with direct answers, and managed to perform like a perfect abuse sponge).

 

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At first the relationship was a little awkward, as he had this overwhelming need to want to please me(good thing) and overthink every instruction that he was given(not so good thing). There was even a point where I became so frustrated that I made him buy a dog avatar, wear it for a week straight, and only respond to questions with one & two barks respectively for yes & no. Fortunately for him, he managed to learn; which is one of the qualities that I find appealing about him.

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Eventually over the course of the last 4 months or so, he has learned the way the world works when any slave is in my orbit. He has shown an interest in what I like(not just the kinky things), how to anticipate what I want, and the best way to deliver it. What I like best is that he knows when to seek my attention, and much more importantly when to give me my space and not send me whiny IMs; something that most slaves never really master.

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For the last 2 months I have even had him keep a chastity log(more on that in future posts) for my amusement. He will even be posting a copy of it from the beginning starting, this week. Please enjoy!

 

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A New Hardcore Femdom sim has come to Second Life giving Female Sadists what they want, and male scum what they need.

Divine Sadism was started 3 months ago by Miss Rosa Hunter and rose out of the ashes of Sisters of Sadism and Female Imperial Dungeon. Divine Sadism carries the torch for Female Sadism and Female Supremacy. Its strength lies in the close knit community of Dommes, and a core group of males who have been inspired to work together to serve the Divine.

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The success of the sim has come as no surprise to Miss Rosa. “I knew there was a dark side lurking in Second Life that was looking to express itself”. Both Females and males have told me how natural this sim feels and how they feel complete. As one male scum explained “The female supremacy is obvious but also subtly conducted. The scum are always challenged and they get to know their place very quickly. The Divine are strict and what is expected from the scums is very clear”.

Not that creating Divine Sadism has been easy. Miss Rosa has put in many hours fine tuning the layout and searching for just the right equipment to appeal to Her group. She has been helped by Her best friend Mistress Natalia Kessel who has a wealth of experience in sim management and slave training. Together they manage the sim and ensure that everything runs smoothly.

Divine Sadism is not for everyone but for many it is a true Heaven and a real Hell.

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