If you are lucky enough to cross the path of Mistress Alina on the deck of DS, you would want to be prepared to give your absolute best impression to Her. If reading through Her very interesting and educational profile did not give you enough clues on how you might spark Her interest, the wonderful interview She gave us the honor to respond to will help you without a doubt. Also, I am extremely grateful for her generosity to offer us more, via this interview. I am sure you will be as much impressed as I was by Her incredible understanding of the philosophy of D/s and by Her crystal clear way to explain it.
frenchy: Greetings Mistress Alina and thank you so much for agreeing to give some of your precious time to respond to this interview.
Alina: Hello frenchy, you are welcome.
frenchy: So let me start by asking this. How would you present yourself as a person to someone you meet for the first time?
Alina: I hope that I present myself in a way that tells you not to waste my time with trivial conversation. I am not here to make small talk or make friends. These things come naturally on their own as you meet like-minded people.
frenchy: Do you need/like to be in control of every aspect of your life? In other words, are you a control freak? ☺
Alina: :LOL. what a question… of course I am a control freak!
frenchy: (smiles) Then, are you a very organized person who plans in advance or do you prefer to improvise?
Alina: I typically improvise. Even at work, before a meeting, I consider myself “already prepared” and will wing my meetings fully confident that I can answer any question and lead the conversation in whichever direction I want it to go. This is part of my personality and it has served me well so far.
frenchy: How does SL impact your RL and your RL influence your SL?
Alina: That’s an interesting question. I like to think that I am the same person in SL as I am in RL, which is fundamentally true. However, the topics that I discuss and the activities I participate in are surely separated between these two worlds.
frenchy: Except BDSM, what do you like to do in SL?
Alina: I am here for D/s. I enjoy discussing D/s and exploring D/s. If I want to play a game, discuss movies or go dancing, I can do it in my RL.
frenchy: In a world mainly composed of macho societies, it might not be easy just to realize for a woman that she can be dominant. Could you tell us how you discovered that side of you and how it has changed your life?
Alina: My introduction into D/s was in the form of submissiveness. As I explored that part of my personality, my owner recognized that I had dominant traits and suggested that I express them. Once I did that, I found that I was extremely good at it and enjoyed the dominance that I exerted. From there, I became very interested in the psychology of D/s… the how and why. This opened up the doors for me as I wanted to experience and explore every dark corner to see how and why it worked.
frenchy: How would you present yourself as a Mistress to someone you meet for the first time or in other words, what is your style of domination?
Alina: Another difficult question… How I present myself the first time is entirely dependent on who the person is, how they present themselves to me and, of course, what kind of mood I am in at the moment. I try to always be polite and will maintain that attitude until the person gives me reason to act differently.
I really don’t know that I have a “style” per se. I guess you would have to ask those that have been under my heel to answer that question. My goal is to explore fetishes and the roots of those fetishes. To do this, I employ a heavy mix of physical, emotional and psychological D/s to crack the submissive and then I have fun looking around inside, exploring deeper and deeper and unraveling all the little secrets they hide inside.
frenchy: Are you a female supremacist? Could you explain the difference between female supremacy and what we could call “female entitlement” (smile) ?
Alina: I am not. I am just me. I don’t believe any one generalized attribute such as gender can determine whether you are above another. I do believe, in general, that women are smarter and more in-tune with the emotional and psychological aspects of D/s whereas men typically prefer the physical. However, I have seen many women that are more clueless than a child and many men that have an absolute clear line to the D/s philosophy.
frenchy: What brought you the desire to dominate men? Is it for example because they disappointed you and are better to be led or is it because you have always preferred this kind of relationship?
Alina: Honestly, as i said, i do not discriminate between men and women. Each has their own psychological distinction and offers their own unique exploration into D/s. While there is a difference in “how” to dominate a man vs a woman, the end goals are the same and if you truly want to explore the dominant side of D/s to its fullest, you will need to experience dominating both.
frenchy: Do you own slaves at this moment? If so, are you open to consider a new slave if the opportunity comes up?
Alina: I do and I couldn’t be more happy with her progress. I am extremely selective and I have to see a lot of potential in someone before even considering them and then, I have to see if the path I want to take them on is actually a path I want to go on. I hate to walk backwards. I have to admit, what I am looking for isn’t exactly rare… it’s just that I haven’t met many people in SL that are at that level yet.
frenchy: What is your best/worse memory about a D/s relationship that you had?
Alina: Best memory – that moment when my slave crossed a line in D/s that could not be uncrossed… the power exchange was beyond anything i can’t even explain.
Worst memory – when I realized that no matter how well connected a domme is with their slave, there will come a point when one outgrows the other and at that point, the bond will weaken and eventually die.
frenchy: Oh but that sounds a bit pessimistic? Isn’t it actually true for any human relationship and not only D/s? Or do you see something special to D/s here?
Alina: D/s is obviously special. In this regard, a D/s relationship is formed so that each, the dominant and submissive, can fulfill a need within themselves through the domination/submission of the other. Because of this, when one outgrows the other, that need becomes greater and it is unrealistic to expect that the partner will be able to fulfill that in you. It isn’t malicious but… that void can be consuming if it is not fulfilled.
frenchy: How do you deal with slaves who top from the bottom? Do you think there are ways to cure them from this bad habit?
Alina: Ha ! good luck! There are many cures to this… the last of them being goodbye.
frenchy: What is the most difficult part in being a Mistress?
Alina: Well, to be honest, being a Mistress is extremely difficult. A lot of people assume that I’m being waited on hand and foot. But really, the level of responsibility that I take over my slaves life and their overall well being takes a lot out of me. Not only do I need to balance the slave’s lifestyle, I also need to create and define a path for them to follow so that they can walk the path of D/s with me and then constantly monitor and adjust based on their reactions.
frenchy: Is being a Mistress just a SL thing or does it carry over to your RL?
Alina: So, I was a RL Mistress years ago. I had a RL live in slave. It was an amazing experience. I didn’t find the D/s lifestyle and being a mother to be compatible with each other, so I gave up the RL aspects to become slaves to my children (grumbles) and use SL to continue exploring myself in a D/s setting.
frenchy: What interests you the most in a submissive man? In other words, which are the qualities that you find the most attractive in a slave?
Alina: This is a great question. The very first thing I look for is intelligence. I hate stupidity. If they can pass that little requirement, I’m looking for sincerity in submission. Without this, there is nothing to build on.
frenchy: What excite you the most, to inflict pain or the feeling to be in total control?
Alina: Total control. Getting you to do something you don’t want to do, guiding you into doing it and then exploring your thoughts and feelings after you’ve done it. Anyone can beat you into submission… It takes skill and patience to guide someone beyond the physical aspects of D/s and unlock their true submission.
frenchy: Do you enjoy to humiliate or even to degrade men? If so, is it because it is a way to assert your power and superiority or because it can be considered as a mental pain they deserve because of the damaging effect of their male ego? If not can you explain why?
Alina: Hmmm… this is a silly question. Or perhaps it is worded incorrectly. I enjoy humiliation and degradation. It has nothing to do with asserting power or superiority. I enjoy it because i enjoy exploring the psychological and emotional effects they create.
frenchy: (blushes slightly and smiles) Do you get often discouraged about men’s behaviors or don’t you have any illusions about them anymore?
Alina: Absolutely. If you take 100 of these so called male subs/slaves… only 1 of them will have the qualities that I really seek. And even they display the traits of an idiot. I won’t name this particular man I met here in SL not too long ago. When I spoke to him, I could sense the sincerity in his submission. His profile did not reflect that at all and he couldn’t find the Mistress he was looking for. I helped him update his profile into what I would expect from someone like him and now I can see that he is owned. I get tired of boys coming before me with blank profiles, useless profiles or even worse, the seeking strict mistress profiles. I always say, what you put in is what you get out.
frenchy: Do you sometimes consider female slaves? If so, are your expectations or/and training very different ?
Alina: I love female slaves. Women are typically smarter than boys. a D/s relationship isn’t all D/s. there has to be some non D/s interaction going on, especially in my type of relationships where I have my fingers into everything from what you eat to what you do with your time.
frenchy: Do you like to include a RL component in your D/s relationship in SL? How far would that component go?
Alina: I accept nothing less. The foundation of D/s is built upon trust. As such, I expect absolute and total control over my slaves RL. With that, the slave must trust – and I must take responsibility for – that I have their best interest at heart and that I would not do anything that would compromise their RL security or privacy nor would I put them into a situation which would cause them failures in their RL.
As for how far that component goes… let’s put it this way, I consider that a slave has no rights. instead, these former rights are considered to be privileges and that I have the right to grant or deny privileges as I see fit.
frenchy: What are you favorite fetishes?
Alina: What can I say… I love them all… Even the ones that nobody wants to mention. I find fetishes to be so fascinating. There is a reason that things turn people on and I want to know what they are… how they work… and why. To answer your exact question, I would have to ask, what are your least favorite fetishes? Whichever those are will be my favorites for you to explore.
frenchy: How important is role playing versus RL submission for you? Do you think role playing outside his comfort zone requires much sacrifice from a slave?
Alina: I don’t enjoy RP at all. I find it to be a fantasy. If I want a fantasy, I can read a story or close my eyes and play a fantasy. I don’t need someone “closing their eyes as they lower their head” to help me explore my fantasies.
I require RL submission. If someone is unable, unwilling or incapable of that, they need not apply nor waste my time.
frenchy: What could turn you off in a prospective slave?
Alina: Stupidity and Insincerity.
frenchy: How do you evaluate a prospective slave during the first days you know him? What are you looking at first?
Alina: First days? I run evaluations for a much longer period of time. The first thing I am looking for is whether I believe the subject is in tune with me and is capable of submitting to the level I require. If I believe they are, I may enter into an evaluation. From here, I want to ensure that our online times are actually compatible. After that, I am in exploration mode… what makes you tick, what do you like, what do you not like, how do you react when I hit you, humiliate you, degrade you, abuse you…
frenchy: Do you go to other BDSM or Femdom sim? What do you like the most at DS that you don’t find anywhere else?
Alina: There are others? Do let me know where you can find any other real D/s sims.
frenchy: (smiles) Do you like to use other’s Mistresses slave at DS or do you prefer to be served by those who are not owned to check them out?
Alina: Only with the absolute rare exception will I never use someone else’s property.
frenchy: What do you think about limits in BDSM? Are they necessary, useful or shouldn’t they exist in a meaningful D/s relationship between consenting adults who trust each other?
Alina: I don’t accept a slave giving me limits. I do accept communication though and I will take that communication into consideration. However, I do consider my decision to be final. I’ve already stated that I want to explore all the things you don’t want to do… limits are a way for a sub to maintain control.
With that said, limits can serve an important function. They allow the submissive the ability to safely explore their fantasies / fetishes while maintaining absolute control over their submission. For those that are just starting to explore D/s, this is important.
frenchy: You told us before you have once submitted to a man? Would you consider it again with the right person or is it now out of the question?
Alina: Absolutely. My first RL Master was a godsend. He exposed me to this wonderful lifestyle and showed me that there wasn’t anything wrong with me… that this was in fact normal. And he introduced me to my dominance. I don’t think I would be the person I am without his guidance…..I have tried submitting to a man again but, not that it has anything to do with gender, it is not easy to dominate me. You have to be more dominant than I am to inspire my submission. If you’ve read my profile, you understand what I am talking about.
frenchy: Sometimes people say that a slave in a D/s relationship holds some control too. What is your opinion about that?
Alina: Well, we have to break the generic term D/s down if we are going to get technical. There is Dominant/submissive and then there is Mistress/slave. We clarify this as D/s vs M/s. If you understand this, then you also understand the difference between the submissive and the slave and the Dominant vs the Mistress.
In a D/s relationship, the submissive has all the control… they set the rules of their submission, get their nifty little safewords and set the scene… The dominant is there merely to fulfill the submissive’s needs. This in turn means that the submissive is actually the dominant.
In an M/s relationship, it is quite the opposite and the slave only has the control that their owner allows them. And, that control can be stripped away at will whether the slave likes it or not… agrees or not.
I know a lot of people feel that they are in complete control of their submissive and “respect” the limits that have been imposed on them. Perhaps the dominant even shares some of these limits… but the truth is, if the submissive is dictating the terms of their submission, I am sorry to say, but they are your dominant, not the other way around.
frenchy: What in Your opinion, makes for a successful D/s relationship?
Alina: Well look… a D/s relationship is something unique to the people that are involved. At the core of this relationship is the sincerity of the slave. Without that sincerity in submission, there really is nothing. With the core in place comes the foundation of trust. As this builds a relationship can be formed. However, the key to a successful D/s relationship (outside the core and the foundation) is counter equality. An advanced sub/slave is not going to do well with a dominant that is just starting their journey. And, vice versa, an advanced dominant is not truly going to grow with a brand new sub/slave. There must be a level of counter equality. If a chain is only as strong as the weakest link, and there is not counter-equality, neither can truly grow.
frenchy: Can you be a sadist without being a Domme or vice versa?
Alina: Absolutely. Most sadists aren’t actually dominant at all. they just get pleasure from causing pain to others and being dominant isn’t about causing pain, although we do love to give it. A real Domme understands that D/s isn’t just about pain… its about exploring dominance and submission on a physical, emotional and psychological level. Sadism is but one aspect to a very large picture.
frenchy: To finish, let me ask you the ritual question. (smiles) What is your philosophy of life? If you had to state a simple principle that you follow to conduct your life, what would it be?
Alina: “It is not enough to survive… we must excel.” I try to apply that to everything I do.
frenchy: (smiles and nods). Thank you very much Mistress Alina for your amazing and truly enlightening answers. We are learning a lot from them, about D/s and also about you! Good bye Mistress Alina
Alina: You’re very welcome frenchy.