My first encounter with DQB Tanarra occurred two years ago as I was wandering lonely in the Parlour Femdom sim. She was in a pirate costume and engaged me in a memorable Roleplay that was fun and hot and during which — armed with words as sharp as her pirate saber — she made me lose all dignity. I never heard from her again until I was given the task by Miss Rosa to interview her. That was quite a surprise!
If you meet DQB Tanarra on the deck of DS, it will be likely at night if you are on the East coast and you want to be prepared to be challenged by her sense of humor, a natural dominant verb that she speaks as fluently as English.but also by her pure sadistic whims (you better have your toolbox around). If you deserve it and if you are lucky, She will also offer you hypnosis sessions or even teach you meditation. I was delighted that she accepts to be interviewed and I am extremely grateful for her patience, her very interesting and complete answers and all the help she has provided to make our meetings possible even when the hurricane Irma was at the gates of Florida where she resides. Please enjoy!
INTERVIEW:
slave frenchy: Good evening Divine Queen Bitch Tanarra, I am so happy to meet you for this interview. Are you comfortable to share some general (non private) information about your person in RL? Or do you do it only once you know a person for some time?
DQB Tanarra: Hello michel. I am rather protective of My privacy. I do share limited information with slaves/friends who have earned My trust, but most details are general. For example, I reside in Florida… but I will not divulge where.
slave frenchy: of course, I understand completely.. So could you tell me how you would present yourself as a person to someone you meet for the first time?
DQB Tanarra: As a person in the D/s lifestyle? Or just a person in general, say that you’d meet in the workplace?
slave frenchy: i meant as a person in general
DQB Tanarra: As a person in general, I am very ‘low maintenance’. I am peaceful, confident, calm, playful, goofy, spiritual, and geeky.
slave frenchy: so you are telling me that you do not present yourself by saying anything in particular but you show a certain behavior and let the other person analyze what he or she sees?
DQB Tanarra: Yes, I’m simply Me. Most people tell Me I am warm, approachable, and make them feel ‘at ease’. Shocking, right? *chuckle* I often joke that I am the compassionate sadist.
slave frenchy : *smiles* I think it is absolutely charming Divine Queen Bitch Tanarra 🙂
DQB Tanarra: Well I’m so very happy to have your vote of confidence michel! 😉
slave frenchy: *smiles* You are from Florida probably American born and I have noticed you speak a very elaborate English (for what I can judge since English is not my native language). Is there a specific culture you feel you belong to?
DQB Tanarra: I am American born, 2nd generation Italian-American, which I’m very proud of . My heritage. I was born in the Northeast, but lived in the South most of my life. Yes, I am in Florida. I love language, and am a creative writer, so yes, a bit verbose.
slave frenchy: I had noticed that two years ago already *smiles*
DQB Tanarra: Yarrrrrr!
slave frenchy: Do you speak other languages except Italian ? 🙂
DQB Tanarra: I don’t speak italian, sadly. Only a few words here and there. Which is true for Me for many languages. But I am semi-fluent in French. Just don’t ask My slave that, who resides in France. He’ll tell you “Mistress’ French sucks!” 🙂 He’s quite the brat. Merhaba (Turkish), Yasou (Greek), Hola (Spanish), Ciao (Italian), Konichiwa (Japanese), Guten Tag (German)… I know just enough to be dangerous!
slave frenchy: I am French too 🙂 I am sure your French is good *smiles*
DQB Tanarra: Je parle un petite peu. Mon mari (ex now), il est Quebecois. [ I speak a little. My ex-husband is from Quebec ]
slave frenchy: Oh, vous devez avoir aussi un charmant accent alors! 🙂 [ You must also have a charming accent, then! ]
DQB Tanarra: *chuckles* C’est vrai! [ That’s true!]
slave frenchy: (looks at his notes to resume the interview according to his preparation not to digress too much) : Is your RL occupation being a writer and if not, does it allow you to express your dominant personality in your every day life?
DQB Tanarra: Writing is My hobby, though I have had a freelance business since 1993 as a copywriter, web designer, graphic designer, and general business consultant. My full-time career is in Television, where I manage a live show team (15 people). So yes, as a Manager, I get to utilize My Dominant talents and skills to obtain the results necessary to produce quality content.
slave frenchy: Oh that’s very impressive… Do you need/like to be in control of every aspect of your life? In other words, are you a control freak? ☺ I would also ask since I believe it can be part of that question…do you prefer to plan in advance or to improvise?
DQB Tanarra: It’s funny michel, I don’t consider myself a control freak, but I do like to plan scenarios. I’m a creative visionary. I see the big picture, and can identify the steps necessary to achieve an outcome. However, I am an introverted (not shy) voyeur. I prefer to be out of the limelight, and support others. My whole life I naturally rose to positions of leadership, I think because of my confident and curious nature. So it was just a natural fit. I’m also an excellent communicator. I know how to speak to people, from all walks of life, and in all manner of speech. So it helps to get to the root of issues.
slave frenchy: What are your favorite book/movie/music that you like to share with the persons you are close to?
DQB Tanarra: I love arts, literature & culture, so it’s very hard to narrow down those interests in to just ‘one’ of something. Neil Gaiman is a favorite author. I have always loved comic books, and was a very big fan of his “Death” character, who I’ve been told I resemble. I recommend The Endless series, or Sandman by Vertigo as great graphic novel reads. For movies, I’m a fan of the original Willy Wonka with Gene Wilder, or Labyrinth with David Bowie. For music, my tastes run the gamut from Foo Fighters to Vivaldi and all points in between. Death Metal to EDM.
slave frenchy: I was certain that you were eclectic 🙂 maybe a last question before talking about bdsm… *smiles* Except BDSM, what do you like to do in SL?
DQB Tanarra: I enjoy reading, crafting, gaming, ASMR, billiards, swimming… and LEARNING. I love to learn new things. My first incarnation in SL involved building, and mild scripting. Prior to mesh. Then I took a hiatus, and returned to SL in 2013 with a focus on socializing and virtual BDSM. I’ve been in the lifestyle (RL) just over 30 yrs.
slave frenchy: omg 30 years! That’s impressive…then I am more curious to know…in a world mainly composed of macho societies , it might not be easy just to realize for a woman that she can be dominant. Could you tell us how you discovered that side of you and how it has changed your life?
DQB Tanarra: So, I realized I was a different kind of gal as a child. I was very resilient, nothing bothered Me. I, again, naturally took charge, often ‘captain’ on the playground — but not bossy. I was good at organizing and understanding people. Sexually, I had a young awakening. I’ve always enjoyed sex, and never felt hindered in any way by being a woman. That confidence, not cockiness, attracts people. They want to know you, learn from you, and yes, serve you. I don’t abuse My power, but I command effectively. Fun is always an objective, as well as making an impact, and impression. I like to leave things and people ‘changed for the better’. That has always been a goal.
slave frenchy: So it was a totally smooth and natural awakening? Did you realize immediately that you were going to be what we call now a Domina? In other words, has your dominance in general developed at the same pace as the one of a Mistress ?
DQB Tanarra: I’d like to go back to something you phrased, and maybe because English isn’t your native language, you didn’t mean it exactly in the way I understood “it might not be easy just to realize for a woman that she can be dominant.” Women may be conditioned from childhood to be submissive, to stay at home and take care of their man. However that was not my experience. I was told I could be whomever I want, achieve whatever I want, no holds barred. Always have been like this. So, I have always been an alpha, a top… but not out of need for control or to prove something. I am just self-assured, positive minded, strong willed, and have a clear idea of who I am. I didn’t know the term Domme until I was about 18. Some gave Me a copy of The Story of O. And I was completely enthralled by it. I also ran in circles that were theatrical, and kinky. I directed My first orgy at 18. And it was so popular, that people begged Me to keep planning play parties. I did for a time, and I would orchestra events. This was back in the mid-to-late 80s. I’ve always been private, and not in to big local scenes. So it was quite mysterious and selective. Because of My love of reading, arts & culture, I found My niche in BDSM through the door of Victorian Discipline. The cane is My favorite instrument. But I love high protocol, regimented behaviors, and strict discipline. I also have a limitless wellspring of ideas, which keeps interactions fun, fresh, and creative.
slave frenchy: * smiles* as you answer to questions I haven’t yet asked…
DQB Tanarra: Did I mention I read minds? *chuckles.* One thing I do want to share before I forget, is how very important My daily meditation practice has been in My life. I have meditated since I was 15 years old. I just turned 50 in early May.
slave frenchy (laughs at the comment on minds reading): I knew you were dangerous and you just confirms it *smiles* Can you tell us a bit more about this practice of meditation, how you discovered the need of it and what it brings you?
DQB Tanarra: Of course. My brother introduced Me to yoga when I was a teenager. He is quite a bit older than Me, and I idolized him as a young girl. So, prior to the internet, I got My hands on every book I could to better understand it, and meditation. I’ve always been introspective, and it appealed to My nature. I’m also pagan — or as I also like to say, a recovering Catholic 😉 — so meditation is a means of learning, of raising power/energy, of healing, and of ‘getting outside yourself’. Here in SL, I do hypnosis/meditative sessions with people. Guided meditations to explore the self, the subconscious, and the psyche.
slave frenchy: How do you associate the meditation and the lifestyle? Are the hypnosis sessions meant as a short cut to our inner-self that we often hide because of social conventions or is it something totally different?
DQB Tanarra: Well one example is deep breathing. Meditation uses breath to help the practitioner focus the mind, and calm the spirit. In BDSM, proper breathing technique is crucial for managing the body. It helps not only with ‘breath play’ but in managing pain, maintaining awareness, and keeping oneself balanced. Hypnosis is a way to alleviate inhibitions or mental blocks of the waking, conscious mind. It can help with reinforcement of behaviors, or beliefs. It can help slaves connect to their subservient mindset. Or, it can be used in SL for more playful purposes, like turning someone in to an object, or helping them to become more ‘slutty’. While I am not a certified hypnotherapist, I do feel My experience lends well to the practice of guiding someone through their own inner journey.
slave frenchy: It looks like an extremely powerful skill and it must require a strong mutual trust for such a practice. Is it something you would recommend to anyone or not?
DQB Tanarra: I think anyone who is inquisitive, or who has a mind — which may exclude most scum 😉 — can be receptive to hypnosis. It is a fun adventure, exploring the power of the mind. Those who fear hypnosis, or who might be apprehensive, likely fear it is a tool for manipulation, and that they somehow lose control of themselves. This is not the case. Not unless you are RP’ing such things. I feel I have a gift for putting people at ease, and helping them relax. I’ve had some tell Me my voice is soothing to listen to. That makes Me happy. I don’t think anyone would be happy if they were told, “Your voice sounds like a chain-smoking cat choking on a hairball.” LOL Interestingly enough, I did a session with someone who was completely deaf. And I was concerned, because I do rely on voice as a means of inducing trance. However, because of My understand of energy flow, I was able to communicate in text and bring about the same state of consciousness and it was a really great experience.
slave frenchy: That very interesting and I would have many more question on the subject but I think my duty is to go on on the interview. However I will ask this: Since reading and writing is an important part of your activity and your connection to bdsm and to meditation, are there readings you would recommend? Have you written on these subjects?
DQB Tanarra: I am the Queen of Unfinished Bestsellers, lol. I start with so many great stories, and then get the first few chapters out, and then I shelf it. But as for specific titles, I don’t really have any recommendations because My interests are so broad and varied. I would just say “Google your interests”, there is an amazing level of content online. Do your research. I can recommend however two tracks that I enjoy meditating to: The Gayatri Mantra by Deva & Miten Premal and Reiki Starlight. Tina Turner is also putting out some amazing Buddhist chant music… For BDSM, perhaps TiedMoments and Dominant Guide.
slave frenchy: Thank you so much, I am sure many of our community will be curious to read and listen to those links.
DQB Tanarra: you are very welcome, michel.

DQB Tanarra disciplining the photographer
slave frenchy: My next question might sound provocative for DS but since it is not always the case for the Divines I have interviewed, I will ask it nevertheless. Are you a female supremacist?
DQB Tanarra: Absolutely. But again, the word ‘supremacist’ is a stigma that many fear. It doesn’t mean We hate men, or think they are invaluable. Scum have their place in the Matriarchy. Women are natural leaders, nurturers, caregivers, orchestrators… etc. I do not focus on the biological supremacy that many female supremacies use to make their case for the belief. Are you a supporter of female supremacy michel?
slave frenchy: *smiles* I think it depends upon the definition but I agree with what you are saying that women are natural leaders, nurturers and care givers…
DQB Tanarra: Often people ask if I’m a feminist, and I say, “No, and neither are you (to other femdoms)” Because feminism is about fighting for ‘equal rights’. In D/s, nothing is equal. If you are a femdom, whether you want to admit it or not — or identify yourself as female supremacist — you are. If you put a man on a leash, you are a female supremacist. TPE is often tossed around in the lifestyle… you hear others say, “oh, submission is a gift”. There is no power exchange for a female supremacist. We have all the power. We are the Divine. The slave craves to be in Our presence, or they don’t survive. Divine Sadism is certainly not for everyone. And again, I think it is shocking to people who know Me when I confidently share I’m a Female Supremacist. Because I don’t make them feel uncomfortable. I’m able to share a point of view, My life with them, and I’m not condescending about it. Seems contradictory no? I don’t rule with an iron fist, I rule with an emerald sceptre! *smiles*
slave frenchy: No, not at all contradictory why? but do you believe that any woman can or is in right to dominate any man?
DQB Tanarra: Yes, of course. But the woman has to tap Her Divinity, Her birthright. Not all women feel they are capable. They have been conditioned to feel it is ‘wrong’ somehow. Because when you say ‘supremacist’ it infers Superiority, meaning “I am better than you,” in most peoples minds. And that would lead you to believe you condescend, look down from your pedestal. However, I see Superiority more as a hierarchy of leadership rather than a ‘value system’. As a Manager in the workplace, I am the Superior. But My team is very valuable, and effective under My style of leadership. We call Our slaves scum because We are Divine Sadists. I am a Humiliatrix, but every slave I crush with words or command with physical prowess feels My confidence and control, and they trust Me because of it. There is no room for them to doubt. Failure is absolutely essential for growth. So when I tell a slave, “You failed!” they should feel disappointment, but also hope, that they are learning.
slave frenchy: *nods” …one learns from our mistakes and this is so true in bdsm
DQB Tanarra: Yes, and that’s what I love about the DS community. Such diversity, and a common mission to help facilitate growth, development, focus, and follow through.
slave frenchy: I think that leads naturally to my next question. What interests you the most in a submissive man? In other words, which are the qualities that you find the most attractive in a slave?
DQB Tanarra: I like humility. I love a good sense of humor, but that also requires a sense of timing. I like those who listen, who are actively engaged, and who put forth effort. Our time is valuable. It is Our LIFE. I say that all the time. I am exchanging minutes of My precious life to be here with you scum. Value that. I deserve your time. You are lucky to have Mine.
slave frenchy: I totally agree Divine Queen Bitch Tanarra and be assured I am extremely grateful for your time right now!
DQB Tanarra: I feel that. 🙂 thank you slave.
slave frenchy: In your opinion and experience, what is the most difficult part in being a Mistress?
DQB Tanarra: For Me? Nothing. Again, it comes naturally. It is who I am. It is not a hat I wear, it is woven in to My DNA. But for others whom I’ve worked with, and heard from, they say they sometimes second guess their decisions. Or they run out of creative ideas. They have insecurities which can create fissures in a D/s dynamic. Particularly in SL, I see people (both Dommes and slaves) jump in to relationships out of a desire to have someone to rule over or be ruled by. They don’t take the time to really sort out compatibility. And that’s fine if you just want a quick fling or playmate. But if you truly want to establish a realistic D/s relationship — take your time. Evaluate subjects closely and rationally. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. My slave, Jason, and I have been together since 2013. He lives in France, but we have crossed over to RL and had a 1 month visit together last Summer. It was fantastic. We have a strong, solid bond and navigate the LDR very well. Someday, if the fates allow, he will be My in-house slave. I met him here in SL at another femdom sim. And it is an age-gap relationship, which is only stated to define it to others. It doesn’t matter to Me at all. He is 24.
note: LDR= Long Distance Relationship

DQB Tanarra and her slave Jason
slave frenchy: *smiles* That answers another of my questions *smiles* you really read minds Divine Queen Bitch Tanarra
DQB Tanarra: Part of My heritage. I am strega. We commune with the spirit, both living and departed. So that collective consciousness really helps when tapped into. 🙂 I suspect this will be your longest blog interview ever! At the bottom, please put TL:DR Tanarra is pretty cool. lol, do you know what TL:DR means? It is ‘geek speak’ for TOO LONG, DIDN’T READ. So you summarize what the article or post is about in one sentence. And RTFM <— Read the fucking manual. You say that to people who don’t know their shit. 🙂
note: Strega = a group of pagan magic users (source encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com )
slave frenchy: *laughs* What in Your opinion, makes for a successful D/s relationship; and what are. if any, the responsibilities of the Domme towards her slave?
DQB Tanarra: A successful D/s relationship is one with well-defined boundaries and terms that are negotiated and adhered to. A structure need a sturdy foundation on which to stand. If you do not have that in your D/s relationship, it will crumble to th ground. The Domme has incredible responsibility for Her slave. It is Her possession, Her property, Her investment. If I buy an expensive piece of jewelry, or custom haute couture, I wouldn’t just leave it in a dark closet to rot. No, I would take great care of it, and use it to showcase My taste, My style, My preferences. My slave represents Me, and will reflect My values.
slave frenchy: Do you mean that limits are negotiated between the Domme and the slave?
DQB Tanarra: You said a D/s relationship. Not a Domme/slave. In a Female Supremacy, Divine/slave dynamic, the only negotiating is at the landing. You stay, or you go if you are scum. You don’t waste Divine time.
slave frenchy: So in that case that means limits shouldn’t exist in a meaningful Domme/slave relationship between consenting adults who trust each other?
DQB Tanarra: There will always be limits, no matter what anyone says to you. Even in consensual non-consent, there are limits. Oh W/we may not want them… W/we may push boundaries quite far… but to be safe, sane, and consensual, there will be limits.
slave frenchy : About successful relationship between a Domme and a slave, I would also like to ask you this: Do you think a strong D/s relationship is possible when the kinks/fetishes of the Domme and of the slave do not intersect?
DQB Tanarra: That is a stupid question michel! You could answer that one. Why would I waste My time caring about the kinks and fetishes of the slave? Hmm?
slave frenchy: Of course not Divine Queen Bitch Tanarra. I know people having different opinion so I was curious about yours *smiles and blushes*
DQB Tanarra: Well now you have it. * grins.*

DQB Tanarra about to discipline the interviewer waiting for his fate
slave frenchy: You said you are a Humiliatrix. Is it what you enjoy the most? Otherwise can you tell us about your other favorite fetishes?
DQB Tanarra: I enjoy caning the most. I love the thuddy strikes that bring beautiful strawberry/plum colored bruising to the surface. Deep tissue impact, where the pain is lasting, for several days, if not longer. But yes, I love humiliating scum. I have many pleasures that I indulge in, from the silly to the severe.
slave frenchy: In some of the Sunday conversations, you said about the sharing of slaves, that the emotional bound was the hurdle. Could you elaborate on this?
DQB Tanarra: Yes. Many D/s relationships involve a romantic element between partners. Whether husband/Wife, boyfriend/Girlfriend, slut/Lover, etc. When people invest emotionally, whether they want to admit it or not, it impairs their ability to be fully uninhibited because they have ‘feelings’ which they worry about affecting — either their partner’s or their own. I’m not saying it is bad. I have that type of bond with My personal slave, Jason. But navigating those waters and keeping firm boundaries can be tricky. It takes time, patience, and strong effort on all involved.
slave frenchy: Does it mean when this hurdle is overcome, that the shared submissive serves his owner through the service to others? Isn’t there a kind of paradox here?
DQB Tanarra: the submissive? No, the slave. The slave always does his Owner’s bidding. That doesn’t change. No paradox.
slave frenchy: I also read that you enjoy the fear and uncertainty when you use the service an other’s Divine slave at DS. There are different kind of services. Some are very casual while others involves some intimacy. Do you think that a connection is needed for that kind of service? How is the sharing of slave possible in that circumstances?
DQB Tanarra: I do not think intimacy has to be involved to utilize a service slave. In as much as I need intimacy with a car wash to get My vehicle cleaned. If you look at the slave as property, sharing is easy. It is like someone borrowing your pen to write with.
slave frenchy: *smiles at the comparison* Do you still go to other BDSM or Femdom sim? I heard about a decline of their attendance. What do you like the most at DS that you don’t find anywhere else?
DQB Tanarra: I visit one or two other sims for discussions mostly, occasionally a dance, or some other special event. What i love about DS that I don’t find anywhere else is a true Female Supremacy sim where I can be as sadistic as I like without needing to apologize to anyone for My behavior, or for who I naturally am. Divine will is Law, as it should be.
slave frenchy: How do you evaluate a prospective slave during the first days you know him? What are you looking at first? What could turn you off?
DQB Tanarra: I like slaves who know how to converse. Those who have a sense of humor, but also a keen sense of timing. I like knowing they are listening and paying attention. I am most attracted to slaves that are selfless and don’t go off spouting their fantasies at every opportunity, or who beg to kiss My feet, and kneel at My side. If I want them there, I will make it known. Turn offs include whiny, needy, clingy slaves who can’t seem to function independently.
slave frenchy: Do you like always to include a RL component in your D/s relationship in SL or is your slave Jason an exception?
DQB Tanarra: Jason is My chattel, and has been for 4 years now. Our RL crossover was not anticipated in the beginning, but with time and relationship growth, that became an option. I do not seek RL crossover with other slaves, as I’m very private and reclusive in nature. I do occasionally voice/cam with My Divine Sisters and Our scum via Club Divine, but beyond that, SL interactions remain virtual.
slave frenchy: I know you enjoy role-playing. How important is it versus RL submission for you? Is it a way to measure the creativity or responsiveness of a slave?
DQB Tanarra: Engagement begins with the mind. Creativity is the spawn of imagination. So, what others consider RP (role play), I consider REAL PLAY. I am not playing a role when I’m here scening. I am Me. I act as I would whether in SL or RL. So, for Myself, ‘role play’ is merely a vehicle to connect with someone, to excite them, to get their creative juices (and other juices >:) flowing.
slave frenchy: * smiles* You have mentioned your slave and partner Jason. Would you consider to own other slaves or submissives?
DQB Tanarra: I’m not seeking that, but I also would not rule anything out.
slave frenchy: What are your best/worse memory about a D/s relationship that you had?
DQB Tanarra: Seeing My slave admire marks I gave him in the mirror (RL) when he didn’t know I was looking. (A BEST MEMORY)
slave frenchy: I always like to finish by this question…*smiles* ..What is your philosophy of life? If you had to state a simple principle that you follow to conduct your life, what would it be?
DQB Tanarra: Meditate daily. The world is full of wonder, go out and enjoy it!
slave frenchy: Thank you very much for allowing me to give this interview.. It was thrilling and I am sure the DS community will enjoy reading you.
Good night Divine Queen Bitch Tanarra.
DQB Tanarra: Well I wish you a good evening then michel… it has been a pleasure to chat with you. I am honored and flattered to be interviewed.